The Barnstormer: Hockey’s Worst Year

The following can be found in its entirety on The Barnstormer. Link below.

Jim Hughson didn’t utter a word. As the final minutes of the 2011-2012 NHL season came to a close, CBC’s Hughson turned off his microphone, took a breath, leaned back in the booth, and did what more sports broadcasts should. He let the images tell the story. The game clock slowed towards its destiny. The crowd stood, and cheered, as crowds tend to do. But not with a desperate fervor, or the pain of relief, but by way of habit, and tradition. Gloves and sticks and helmets were discarded. Grown men, proud men, cried and embraced. An aging goaltender, a native Montrealer, left the ice for what may have been the final time. A smug commissioner, an enemy of hockey patriots, stepped onto the ice. He was not booed, which is a custom unbeknownst to a Southern California crowd. He handed the Cup, a sacred chalice, to a 27-year-old from Ithaca, New York, a grinder, a winger who plays with grit, with sandpaper, “the way the game should be played”. A character guy. He’ll drop the gloves, you know? The Cup, the oldest of its kind, gets passed from player to player to coach to trainer to general manager. Slowly, reluctantly, one-by-one, they left the ice. The crowd remained standing. The crowd remained cheering.

To an outsider, it would appear to be the culmination of a beautiful season, the peak of winter’s game’s crescendo. The anthemic refrain that fades to a contented quiet. But that would be false. It would be a lie. Because beneath the tears, the character, the hyperbole, the pageantry, is what the moment really was. This, was the end of hockey’s worst year.

It began as last season ended. It began with a death.

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Two Minutes for Being a Minority

A few Saturdays ago I was at the Air Canada Centre to see the Leafs play the Canadiens. It was my first time to the ACC for hockey game, my only other visit coming in 2001 to see Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young, a memorable show and the only time in the seven I’ve seen Neil Young perform that he played Down By the River, which has been proven by NASA scientists and Harvard academics alike to be the greatest song ever. But what a dichotomy of crowds in my two visits to the arena. One was an evening filled with a solid team effort and a celebration of Canadiana, and the other was a hockey game. Though I have witnessed the booing of the Montreal Canadiens in rival arenas throughout the NHL on television, with a special amount of vitriol coming from the ticket holders in Boston, Philadelphia, and Toronto, I had never witnessed it first hand. I came prepared, wearing my Larry Robinson vintage Canadiens jersey, and I fully expected a playful boo or an occasion of drunken derision. But what surprised me, what offended and saddened me, was the unparalleled level of hatred the home crowd had for Canadiens defenseman P.K. Subban. I had seen it on game broadcasts, but in order to fully appreciate the level of animus that the opposition has towards Pernell Karl Subban you really have to be there. It’s more than playful chiding of a respected opponent. More than an attempt to throw a valued foe off his game. What it is, and having seen it first hand I am convinced, that it is pure unadulterated hatred. And it’s because P.K. Subban is an African-Canadian.

I have wronged a good woman or three, so I know the difference between anger and hatred. I have seen it up close, and it is a tangible and violent emotion born of a fierce rage. But to have seen the manner in which the ACC faithful booed Subban, to have seen it from those in Philly and Boston and New York on television, the hopeful peacenik in me tried to resolve the spite and hostility as simply a part of pro sports. Subban, admittedly, plays with an edge. He has what the hockey community like to call “sandpaper”. But while those in the NHL of Subban’s ilk, those who get under the skins of their opponents with their combination of talent, wit, and lip, are often celebrated as players with “character”, Subban is almost universally derided by fans, media, management, and players. And for the life of me, I can’t figure out why that is, except to argue that the NHL and the culture of hockey is one that fosters and accepts racism.

I’ll admit that I am biased in that I am a Montreal Canadiens fan. My winters are spent living vicariously through the Habs, and my springs rise and fall on their successes and failures. And I really like Subban. He has a personality, something I have argued in the past that the NHL notably lacks, and often eschews in favour of cliché and a culture that toes the company line. To attribute this double standard to racism may seem simple, perhaps in and of its self inherently racist, but consider the following non-scientific study. I took 10 players from a recent Bleacher Report article on the most hated NHL players since 2000, and I googled their names in quotations and the word hate. I tried to vary the players in terms of age, conference, position, market, and ethnicity. Additionally, I’ve noted their average ice time, points, and penalty minutes. Here are the results (as of February 6):

Player

   Google Results

Ice Time/Game

        Points

           PIM

Sean Avery

1 470 000

7:00

3

21

P.K. Subban

   871 000

23:35

20

64

Matt Cooke

   595 000

15:52

19

20

Jordin Tootoo

   396 000

14:01

21

66

Colby Armstrong

   390 000

11:17

1

4

Daniel Carcillo

   198 000

11:24

11

82

Trevor Gillies

   160 000

2:52

0

0

Patrick Kaleta

   111 000

13:27

6

69

Brad Marchand

   106 000

17:09

38

77

Maxime Lapierre

     46 700

11:10

10

96

It should be noted Armstrong has been out most of the year, but he still gets a lot of hate. Sean Avery is the clear winner in terms of internet hatred, but he’s a veteran, one the most hated players to have ever laced up a pair of Bauers and insulted another player’s starlet girlfriend, and has been dispatched to Connecticut of the AHL, most likely until his hockey career ends and his fashion career begins. But P.K., in only his second full NHL season, has 276 000 more Google hate-results than his closest competitor, Matt Cooke, who fancies headshots more than an aspiring actor. Trevor Gillies, whose only NHL accomplishment is his moustache, has also been dispatched to the AHL but maintains a hefty web-based hatred.  And even if you double Max Lapierre’s totals to account for bilingualism, he’s still nowhere close to Subban.

What truly surprised me about the survey, which admittedly has the scientific acumen of creationism, was that none of the players even approach Subban’s level of talent or importance to their respective teams. Subban’s average ice time per game is 23 minutes and 35 seconds. The next closest on this list is Cooke at a good 8 minutes less. Though Subban is the only defenseman on the list, the fact remains that hatred at the professional level is typically reserved for 4th line pluggers and fringe pros, who need to play the role of pest in order to maintain a roster spot. Arguably, Marchand is the only other player on this list whose team value approaches Subban’s, and it’s interesting that he has been Subban’s foe since their junior days, but with a substantially smaller hate-base.

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UnLeafable: Why the Leafs are Unlovable Losers

Word spread across the wires (are there still wires? Maybe it spread across the Twitterverse) this morning that Theo Epstein, boy wunderkind General Manager of the Boston Red Sox, was preparing to take a similar position with the Chicago Cubs. The Cubs and their fans are suffering through the longest championship drought in pro sports. 1908 was the last time the Cubbies won a World Series, a span of 103 years. Epstein presided over the Red Sox as they won a World Series for the first time in 86 years in 2004 (and won another in 2007) guaranteeing he’ll never need to pay for a beer in Massachusetts again. New Cubs owner Tom Ricketts is hoping that Epstein will bring that same spell-breaking magic touch to the North Side of Chicago. It will be a matchup of lore for the ages. The Curse of the Bambino versus The Curse of the Billy Goat, Bill Buckner versus the black cat, Bucky Dent versus Steve Bartman. A matchup of lovable losers. In fact if you google “Lovable Losers” the first result is the Chicago Cubs, and the Sox are not far behind. Which brings us to the Toronto Maple Leafs, a team whose own drought reaches back to 1967. But unlike the Cubbies, and once the BoSox, no one loves the Leafs for their ineptitude.

The Leafs beat the Montreal Canadiens in six games to win the 1967 Stanley Cup. 44 years ago. And since then nothing. Barely a sniff. But fans of other franchises don’t feel for Leafs fans, in fact they seem to revel in their lack of success. But why is this? The Leafs have an intriguing and rich lore. The story of Bill Barilko, the insanity of Harold Ballard, the paper bag of Roger Nielson, and the Kerry Fraser non-call on Wayne Gretzky in the 1993 conference finals. But rather than endear themselves to the greater sports fanbase, non-Leafs fans have celebrated the team’s failures. Nobody wants to hug a Leafs fan and tell them it will all be okay. But what is it that fans found in the Cubs and Sox that they don’t see in the Leafs?

Consider Toronto itself. In Canada it’s a national pastime to detest Toronto if you don’t live there or aren’t from there. I’ve never been entirely sure why that is. It’s a nice enough city. They have parks and galleries and museums. Cool bands come through on tour. It’s by a lake. The pubic transit works pretty well. There’s a big tower in the middle so you can’t get lost. Rob Ford, its mayor, is a horrible man but that seems to have united the citizenry in a way I haven’t seen before in a modern metropolis. The film festival is good. Summers are pleasant. Winters are tolerable. But still, the city gets no love. People love Chicago. Silly accent. Deep dish pizza and sausages. Al Capone. Lake Michigan. And a history of racial tolerance that people respect. Boston has its own silly accent. Cream pie and chowder. A colonial past. Cape Cod. And a deep-rooted racism which people tolerate. From this I suppose it can be surmised that Toronto, and its failing Leafs, gets no love because the city’s populace doesn’t have an accent.

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